I’m writing this early but posting on time, how peculiar! As I’m writing it is actually Tuesday and by the time you read this it’ll be Friday. Ah, the magic of scheduled posting. The reason this is happening is because I had an epiphany for an entertaining (here’s hoping) entry and I wanted to get it down before I forgot it and posted another “filler entry” like most of November has been. Before I get into the meat of the issue I wanna discuss, a few brief updates.
I finished NaNoWriMo on time! In fact, I hit word count 2 days early. It wasn’t easy, though. When I finally had two consecutive days off from work, I told my family and friends (those I communicated to on a regular basis throughout November at least, oops) to leave me alone as I would be writing. At the time I was about 8,000 words behind and starting to get rather worried. So in a push to get to AT LEAST the daily word count, I told my flatmates to not let me out of my room unless it was to go to the bathroom or grab a drink (more an excuse, this one, considering I had 6L of juice in my room so I wouldn’t have to leave it) and I wrote. Sunday I wrote well but fairly slowly; I wrote and napped and acted much like a human being would. On Monday I wrote from 5am till 8pm with a half-hour break in the middle for lunch and a movie swap with Individual.
After all that… I sit 119 words above word count and I plan to relax for a few days before picking it up again for edits and continuing story. What’s amusing to me is that those just-over-50,000 words are only parts 1 and 7 fully, and markers 1 through 4 fully. I think Holmes and I underestimated how long this thing would actually be. Awkward. Anyway, I need to polish up part 7 before I hit the ground running with part 2, but expect updates on the Ya’aburnee page within about 2 weeks. From “field testing” and “market research” apparently what I class as very mild slash is still quite jarring for people who either don’t read it or never want to so… Please please PLEASE read the warnings at the top of every chapter. I’m not going to mold the story into something it’s not for a few people who dislike the genre, but I’m not out to deliberately scar them for life either. Just read the warnings and if you realize mid-way through a part that you can’t handle that level of slash then just move to the next one. No harm done, simple as pie.
Also, my AMAZING flatmate Mack (who designed her own website, isn’t it freaking EPIC?) designed me a cover for the book once it’s done, and I couldn’t be happier. She’s still going to design me the spine (once we know the length of it so we can get the right parameters) and the back cover (I promised to feed her candy for a month for that… so worth it) but for now, check it OUT:

Now that that’s out of the way and I can stop both gloating and flailing over my amazing cover, I can finally explain the reason behind the blog name.
It’s now December. In most normal brains THIS is the month of Christmas, this is the month where you START selling Christmas decorations and planning for the shopping and buying the tree and whatever else it is people who actually care about the Hallmark side of the holiday do. However, because most of the civilized Western world is so material, Christmas has been on sale since late October and Christmas carols (the bane of my life, if I’m honest) have been playing since November 1st.
For those not yet aware, I work at Whitcoulls bookstore. Very much like Borders but we make it a point to constantly remind the world (meaning NZ) that we are PROUDLY NEW ZEALAND OWNED AND OPERATED. Whitcoulls, like many book stores, food stores, clothing stores and plant wholesalers has been playing Christmas carols over their speaker system for about a month now. Thankfully out of the six disks circulating around the stereo, only one is filled with “Christmas cheer”, but nonetheless it has given me the opportunity to realize yet again how inappropriate some Christmas carols are. Three in particular bug me every year (this goes beyond just being annoyed at the fact that they’re teeth-rotting sweet and happy anyway) more for their content and the creepy joy it’s delivered with rather than say, the fact that they just happen to be Christmas carols.
Inappropriate Christmas Carols for the Young and Young at Heart
a.k.a. songs that people should honestly LISTEN to before singing along to them
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Also known as the song that teaches children to be annoying brats and expect to get anything they want. If in doubt, the second verse is pretty self explanatory:
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer
We won’t go until we get some;
We won’t go until we get some;
We won’t go until we get some, so bring some out here
As Mack and I were discussing earlier, it’s a pretty decently creepy thing to say to someone. First you show up at their doorstep, singing, and then expect cake for it. On top of that you threaten to not leave EVER until they give it to you. All you Christmas lovers who are probably reading this bundled up in Frosty the Snowman sweaters with a cup of hot ginger coco and thinking “oh, fudge, what a cynic she is!” let me put this into perspective for you: a group of people show up at your doorstep, they make a lot of noise, and then tell you they won’t leave until you give them cake. Or food. Or any number of things including alcohol, money, your cocaine stash in the freezer…
The song’s a seriously bad influence, I just wish more people would realize this as they’re walking around the store humming along to it and bopping their heads as though it’s actually decent music.
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
This one shouldn’t even need to be explained. I mean seriously. The title gives it away. This is the ultimate guide to Christmas murders. I don’t even remember who I was discussing this with, but we both came to the conclusion that we know just how this song came about. One evening when grandma was babysitting a child or two, Mommy and Daddy went out and got a little too trashed. Coming home later that evening they accidentally hit grandma with their car. Realizing their mortal (puns, oh the puns) error, they decided to scapegoat Santa. Because, why not really? The man rides around in a sled pulled by essentially wild animals and he follows no rules of the road. It’s not only likely but damn near plausible that Santa could have hit someone on his way down the street.
Kids obviously bought it, and now it’s an eerily happy song sung around Christmas to cover up a gruesome drunk-driver story with Christmas cheer and tinsel. What worries me is that kids sing this one more than adults do, and they sing it in such a way as to make you think that they would actually be HAPPY to see grandma get run over by a reindeer so that their faith in the fat man in a red suit who gets into your house when you’re sleeping is restored annually. Speaking of fat men in red suits, this brings me to song number three.
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
Of all the songs on the list, this is the one that worries me the most. This is one of the most popular songs to sing and play during the Christmas season, and adults and children alike honestly don’t hear the words they’re singing. I pointed the creepiness out to a coworker of mine recently when he walked across the main floor humming it to the stereo. It took me three tries of slowly repeating the lyrics back to him before it clicked and he gave me a completely scandalized look as though I’d just ruined his childhood.
Basically this is the ultimate stalker song. Not only that, it’s the ultimate pedophile stalker song. Or at least the song that’s directed at his victims after a certain amount of time has elapsed.
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
So… you better be careful and not cry in case someone asks you why you’re crying. And if you tell them, shit’s gonna get real because Santa’s back in town and you KNOW what happened last time. Honestly, I can’t be the only one who sees this. If that’s not enough, the happy chorus of
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
should just cinch it. It’s obviously something to sing about when someone’s standing outside your window watching you sleep. Maybe it’s the Twilight generation, thinking it’s romantic and not at all disturbing to have someone in your room staring at you when you’re too out of it to know or defend yourself. I won’t lie, this song scares the crap out of me every time and it always makes me wonder just what the kids are thinking when they sing it. Or the adults, who know better, and sing it to their kids anyway. Hypocritical really, considering the amount of “stranger danger” kids are injected with at school (rightfully so).
For those who can’t tell… I’m not much of a Christmas person. At all. Christmas carols drive me nuts and – if played for long enough and often enough – drive me to tears from frustration and annoyance. Also, I’ve been watching ungodly amounts of Zero Punctuation lately so that could explain my tone. And… certain wordings.
This is my 99th post. That’s right, ninety-ninth. I’d like to make the 100th something interesting so I’m opening mine ears to any and all suggestions. Please give them. Otherwise my 100th post will be another “sorry guys, next week will be better” entry and I really don’t want another like that, November was full of them.
Current NaNoWriMo wordcount: 50,119
My NaNoWriMo page is right here if you’re keen to follow updates and get excerpts. Or way over here if you’d like to read it as I post it.
Current collab wordcount: 436,813
My story with Jack is currently on semi-hold as both of us work on our respective NaNos for the month. However it is still an obsession, yes, it’s ridiculously long, no, I’m not making the word count up, no, I have no idea if and when this will ever end, yes, I will keep updating the word count, no, you don’t have to care.
RAOC had a documentary made about it by a student from South Seas Film and TV School. That’s right, the same South Seas that I went to in 2009 and graduated from. The director was lovely and I can’t wait to see the finished product. Keep you posted on both here and the RAOC website so check in on the link once in a while.
I have no new reviews in The Midnight Screening this week. NaNo has taken over my life.
“1000+1 Books” has a few more books. I add to it when I feel like it, since this isn’t a review page, but it’s always a good place to go if you can’t think of your next book to read. For much better (and very informative) reviews, check out Collecting a Library, she never lets me down.
Incidentally, don’t forget to check out the new entries from Jack (who has promised an entry, finally) and Lochinvar too. Show em the support and love they deserve, guys, these blogs are amazing.
This week’s songs are : [taken from the Ya'aburnee soundtrack]
-+- Orchard of Mines – Globus
-+- No Light No Light – Florence and the Machine
-+- Bring on the Wonder – Susan Enan
Stay classy guys, till the day after next Castiel day… (correction as requested by Mack)
Bandit, OUT.
